Darren’s Diatribe

The drivers of the following cars are a public menace. If you happen to know any of them, borrow their car keys and drop them down the nearest well in the interests of public safety. If they complain, kick them hard where it hurts. Several times.

WGF 819

23 March 2007, 4:00PM

You really need to learn the finer points of changing lanes. It is best to make sure it is safe to change lanes first. It is also a good idea to use indicators.

Mitsubishi Sigma station wagon changed lanes crossing an intersection without indicating then again furhter down the road.

XBP 118

13 March 2007, 9:00AM

Do not drive through red lights. If you do choose to go through an intersection long after the light has gone red, don’t be surprised if someone turns right across you. When they do this, do not honk your horn in indignation as if the driver has done something wrong.

I watched an accident very nearly happen when this idiot drove through a red light several seconds after it had gone red, in peak hour traffic.

VYS 425

15 Feb, 2007 3:50PM

Driver of Grey Magna threw a cigarette butt out the window.

WZF 374

Nov 8, 2006 8:40 AM

Driver of white ute threw cigarette butt out of window.

GSM 941

Nov 8, 2006 8:50 AM

You seem very keen to cause a car accident. If this is your goal, the continue driving that way you do now - it is just a matter of time.

Silver station wagon accelerated rapidly, veering from one lane to another and then tail gated.

XBK 548

Nov 9, 2006 3:00PM

You really need to look in your rear view mirror before you reverse, otherwise you will reverse into a parked car. Obviously you already know this, since you said “Oh, f*** I didn’t even look. Sorry”. Luckily it only dented and scratched my number plate.

VXA 756

Sep 6, 2006 8:30AM

I realise that you obviously don’t care, but littering is illegal. Even though there are lots of people who throw cigarette butts out of the window, this doesn’t make it OK.

483 238 ?

Aug 28, 2006 8:00AM

There comes a time in everyone’s life then they have to admit defeat and quit driving before they kill themselves or someone else. I suspect that you are well beyond that time. You really can’t just go wandering across the road, changing lanes without looking or indicating. If you can’t see the other cars (or cyclists) you can’t just pretend they aren’t there. I am sure you really love your little bug, but it is time to say goodbye.

Green Volkswagen beetle driven by very old lady wandered across the road in front of me to park. I had to lock up my wheel to stop in time.

TAXI 2518

Aug 23, 2006 6:00PM

Clearly you weren’t paying attention during your taxi driver training. I am sure that they would have mentioned that it is best to drive on the left side of the road at all times. Particularly in the city traffic. It is also generally regarded as being quite unnecessary to accelerate and pass a car which is already sitting on the speed limit. It is also unwise to pass a car when you are heading towards a red light less than 100m away. To do all three of these things at one requires a genuinely impressive level of supidity. Well done - you have set a new benchmark for lunatic driving. Your Mum would be so proud…

Taxi drove onto the wrong side of the road in peak traffic to pass a car which was doing the speed limit while heading towards a red light not very far away.

VLA 886

Aug 18, 2006 5:30PM

When you cross an intersection, you need to end up in the same lane on the other side. It is particularly important when you are at the front of the queue when the light goes green, otherwise the cars behind you may be unaware that you are a maniac and may follow you into the wrong lane causing chaos. You may have noticed me honking my horn at you. This is not a greeting. This is pointing out that you have just done something extremely dangerous and stupid. You will also find that it is better if you don’t drive while drinking a can of coke.
Blue/green Ford Laser veered from one lane to another across the intersection. The car behind partly followed and nearly hit me.

VKA 938

Aug 10, 2006 8:45AM

This will probably come as a surprise to you because you are clearly oblivious to what is going on around you, but you came exceptionally close to causing an accident this morning. If you are going to suddenly change directions, there are two important things to remember :

1. Use your indicators so that others know what you are planning

2. Make sure there is no traffic in the lane you are crossing

Blue station wagon was stationary in a traffic jam and decided to suddenly turn across my bike lane into a side street without indicating. I locked up the back wheel and stopped a few centimetres short of the side of the car.

XIL 190

Aug 7, 2006 6:00PM

You are clearly an idiot. I am sure that you wouldn’t have pulled out in front of me like that if I had been a sherman tank rather that a bike.

White 4WD waited until I was about 10 meters away then crossed into the middle of the road and stopped there while looking straight at me.

UVB 898

Aug 3 2006, 8:45AM

You clearly have a passion for changing lanes unexpectedly. You may not be aware, but it is traditional to use your indicators when changing lanes. If you have a look at the side of your steering wheel, you will find a little stick. When you move it, lights flash on the side of the car to let other drivers know you are about to change lanes. Use it.

White van changed lanes 3 times and went around one corner all without using indicators.